Thirty Minutes
by Storm Midnight
Summary: Northern Italy deals with his inner turmoil during the finsl year of WWII. "I am not acting as a nation, but as a person. I am Feliciano Veneziano-Vargas, and I want to live." Songfic, 30 Minutes by TATU


**Woot! First Hetalia oneshot! Well, this is just the first one I've posted, I got another complete oneshot and two chapter stories in the works. They should be up sometime this week. **

**Please don't ding me for historical inaccuracy, this is very loosely based on the Battle of Italy article on Wikipedia, with me taking major creative license. I like taking this series in war terms and exploring the darker side of it, so I hope you all enjoy!**

**I own nothing!**

**Oh, and I highly recommend listening to the song 30 Minutes by TATU while reading this (which is what this songfic is based off of, but you guys probably already knew that), it really enhances the overall effect (according to my beta reader).**

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Thirty Minutes

Laughter... Sometimes I hear it in the back of my mind... I can hear my brother's voice... Memories? From when? I barely remember the last time I saw Lovino smile, let alone laugh... We sound so happy!

I wish we could sound like that again.

...Such sounds have no place in war.

And laughter is no good alone...

Sudden shouting breaks me out of my thoughts. My hiding place in the hall has been discovered. I'm dragged into the meeting room and shoved into a seat. On my right is my boss, and on my left is a chair that is supposed to be filled by the personification of Southern Italy...

But it will never be filled... Willingly, that is.

_Out of sight,_

_Out of mind._

Kiku then entered, led by his military boss and followed by his emperor. I hear that the emperor is nothing more than a figurehead... I wonder what that means...

Ludwig's boss is the most frightening... He is very cruel to the Allies, France especially.

Poor Francis, I hope he's still alive.

Ludwig stands up and begins to speak. Since his boss is the leader of the Axis powers, we all speak in German. I can only understand bits and pieces of what he's saying, and suddenly all eyes are on me.

_...C-Cosa?_

Roma—Southern Italy... declares war? On Japan?

Huh... I was expecting Germany.

The bosses converse for a long time. My eyes stare blankly at the table.

This war has taken everything from me.

Family.

Joy.

Happiness.

It leaves me with nothing but my title.

I am Northern Italy.

I can feel my people suffering...

Not just the Northerners... But Romano's people as well.

Once Southern Italy crossed over to the Allies, Germany showed no mercy. Italians were dying wherever you looked. Thousands were massacred while others were sent off to concentration camps. To Ludwig, they had simply become the Enemy.

That didn't change the fact that they were my blood.

War. Destroys. Everyone.

A hand is on my shoulder. I can tell by its strong grip that it belongs to Ludwig. The bosses have left us. We're to be stationed on the Gothic Line today... The line that separates my brother and I.

Today is my only chance... But I am still unsure...

_Out of time,_

_To decide._

xxxx

Some months ago...

xxxx

_"Do we run?"_

"Of course you would ask that..." My brother mutters furiously. "Our boss's days are numbered, and now that America's in the war we're good as done." We're jammed in a closet, away from prying eyes. A stubborn sort of conviction rings in his voice. "I'm surrendering to the Allies."

Horror rips across my face, "LOVI YOU CAN'T—!"

He slaps me across the face, _"Idiota!_ Do you want that potato-bastard to hear you?" My cheek stings and I gingerly cover it with my hand. That hurt! "Venetian... This war is killing us and you know it! I want to live!" A rare thing happens; he pulls me into a hug. "When they reach my shores I will welcome them, and once I become strong again I'll come back for you." He releases me. "_Fratello_... This might be the last time I see you..."

"Romano..." My voice is thick with tears as I grab his arm. "Don't do this!"

The entire moment is so terribly cliché. He pulls away. "If I fall..." He couldn't bring himself to finish the request.

My brother is actually at a loss for words.

I can hardly believe it.

_"Should I hide?"_

"No, they'll suspect." He took a deep breath, "I want to be buried in a tomato field if I die, okay?" He opens the door and exits. I slide to the floor, stunned. I could join him... But if I do then the entire Italian race is doomed to annihilation...

And I am doomed to be this war's puppet...

_For the rest,_

_Of My life?_

xxxx

Since then my brother and I have been secretly conversing. I would pass off a letter to a member of the resistance group in France, who would forward it to Britain, where Romano was. He was forced to flee the country for his own safety. I am positive that if I were someone else, my frequent visits outside my home country would arouse a lot of suspicion, but everyone seems to turn a blind eye to me.

_Can we fly?_

With each passing week, the messages get shorter and shorter. The final one I got had only these words:

Alfred has volunteered to get you. Tomorrow he will be posing as a Luftwaffe pilot on the Gothic Line. His plane should be in the area at midnight. He can only wait a few minutes.

This was my only chance... Should I take it?

_Do I stay?_

Even if I don't...

_We could lose,_

_We could fail,_

Our bosses said we needed to be on that border today... And I plan on being there come midnight.

...Am I really considering this?

_In the moment, It takes,_

_To make plans,_

...

_Or Mistakes._

xxxx

The mountains are damp and cold. It's muddy and wet and I _hate_ it. It's been unnaturally rainy this spring, we need to be careful. It is exactly eleven-thirty. I've been counting the seconds since we've left our base.

Eighteen hundred left until the plane comes in...

_Thirty minutes,_

_A blink of an eye._

I scan the skies cautiously. Ludwig and Kiku are not too far from me. We are positioned in a natural alcove, farthest from the border. My eyes probably look hollow as I move to stare at the walls of stone.

_Thirty minutes,_

_To alter our lives._

I am practically lifeless.

_Thirty minutes,_

_To make up my mind._

The only thing keeping me here is that I am supposed to be the personification of Northern Italy.

_Thirty minutes,_

_To finally decide._

But... Aren't I Human?

Am I allowed to act as an individual?

Kiku comments on the state of our defensive line. I nod, not really hearing what he says. He asks me if I am okay, and I bitterly reply that this is war and it doesn't matter how we countries feel. Ludwig stares at me; I think my response startled him. He asks what has gotten into me. I quickly apologize. I resign myself to a spot near the alcove's entrance. Ludwig calls me by my country's name to get my attention.

_Thirty minutes,_

_To whisper your name._

He asks what the hell is wrong with me.

I don't know, but I force a smile and say that I'm hungry, that's all.

He rolls his eyes and mutters something under his breath in German. He bought my lie. Kiku stifles a yawn, but we can't afford to sleep.

This is the personification of Axis: three men, trapped by their bosses.

Slowly, slowly dying.

Even if I leave for myself, my country will still be at fault.

_Thirty minutes,_

_To shoulder the blame._

And what of my friends? Ludwig had always held a grudge against Francis and Britain. And Kiku openly provoked America when he bombed Pearl Harbor, but then again it was in retaliation to that embargo...

What's an embargo again?

Kiku replies that it's when one country stops trading with another for ridiculous reasons.

I've been thinking out loud again... I look Kiku in the eyes... Earthen stone. I thank him for the explanation. He stares at me curiously and asks Ludwig about my metal state as if I'm not there. Ludwig says that I'm just tired.

I am tired... Of everything.

They both stare at me again and I firmly bite my lip, shutting my mouth.

These two are my friends... We have stuck together through thick and thin... Perhaps I should make these moments memorable...

I sit on the ground and let my head fall into my hands. Pain suddenly seizes me and I let out a small wail.

More innocent Italians are dying...

Ludwig sits down next to me and grabs my shoulder like he did before. He is responsible for my suffering. He acknowledges that, yet his icy eyes seem to thaw when they look down on me.

That hand is my anchor to sanity at the moment. My head is spinning as I see the bloodshed take place in my mind.

Kiku sits on my other side and leans against me, even though I know it makes him uncomfortable. My hands are knotted in my hair as if I'm going to tear it out.

There is pain and blood, death and starvation.

And I know whatever I feel, Lovino feels it a hundredfold.

My friends... _Miei cari amici._

They are comforting me.

They have no idea what it means to me.

_Thirty minutes,_

_Of bliss._

They have no idea I might be betraying them...

_Thirty lies._

We stay huddled until my pain passes. Quietly I thank them, and immediately they withdraw to their own corners. I let out a whimper as I lean back against the mountain wall. I force myself to stand, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself.

_Thirty minutes,_

_To finally decide._

The rain has stopped, and the moon peeks out cautiously from dark storm clouds. Seeing nothing to fear she shines her pure light onto the mountainside.

I am not worthy of such a beautiful sight. I feel my cheeks... They're wet? I'm... Crying? Again Ludwig asks what's wrong with me.

Isn't it obvious? I'm scared! _Mie Dio..._ You have no idea how scared I am!

He says a few words of encouragement, buy I know they're worthless. He's scared too, he's just too proud to admit it.

But we have very different reasons to be afraid.

As for Kiku... I can never tell what he's feeling...

_Casting shame,_

_Crying rain..._

It's too quiet, and that's how I know it's almost time.

_Do I stay?_

This war has been dragged out for so long... And regardless of what our soldiers do... Regardless of how hard our bosses push us... Against the Allies...

_We would lose,_

_We would fail..._

The drone of a plane's engine is heard. It flies overhead and lands in the nearby valley. Kiku asks what a plane could be doing here at this hour. Ludwig suggests that the pilot brings new orders.

I know the truth.

_Either way,_

_Options change..._

That plane is the key to my freedom.

The key to seeing my brother again...

Ludwig stands up and says that he'll go see what it is. I am filled with a strange kind of energy as I jump up and stop him. I insist that I go and that he and Kiku get some rest. He rejects, I insist. Our banter continues for a few moments.

_Not the same..._

I'm running out of time. With a dramatic sigh I turn and begin my descent. The drop of the ridge is neither too rugged nor too steep to make the journey difficult. But I could just think that because I've known my way around these mountains for so long that they've become a part of me, both figuratively and literally.

Heavy footballs trudge behind me. Ludwig chose to follow. I quicken my pace, hoping that I can lose him in the shadows of the Apennines.

I stop at a ridge that allows me to look down at the valley. The moon has retreated back behind the clouds, but I can faintly see the outline of a lone fighter jet.

Fear and doubt paralyze me.

Do I really want this?

Will I be strong enough to deal with the consequences?

_People fade..._

Again, I'm only here because I'm representing Northern Italy.

_Thirty minutes,_

_A blink of an eye._

But I'm not Northern Italy.

_Thirty minutes,_

_To alter our lives._

I am Feliciano Veneziano-Vargas.

_Thirty minutes,_

_To make up my mind._

And I want to live.

_Thirty minutes,_

_To finally decide._

I want to live.

"Vhat? Italien, vhat on earth are you saying?" Ludwig crouches beside me, "Of course you're going to live! Vhy vouldn't—?"

_To decide._

The moon shines once more, revealing the small plane. The American flag is proudly emblazoned on its side.

My heart begins to thunder within my chest. I feel like I am going to burst from fear.

**_I thought it was going to be disguised!_**

_To decide, to decide, to decide._

Ludwig begins swearing in his native language as he pulls out his gun. He grabs my arm and yanks me back. Is he... Trying to protect me? Or did he hear me thinking out loud again?

_To decide._

I pull out my own pistol in retaliation.

_To decide._

I aim.

_To decide._

I fire.

The shot misses and there is a moment of utterly devastating silence. Ludwig turns to me, and I see an angry burn forming on his face. I was still close enough to leave a mark. Icy eyes are shocked, appalled... Hurt?

The look on his face tells me that he's figured it out.

_"Ve... Mi dispiace...!" _

I drop the gun and I'm sprinting with all my might.

_To decide._

I scramble into the plane as I'm tossed a helmet. The engine roars to life and we're airborne. The escape is flawless; the pilot has us out of gun range before they can fire at us.

_To decide._

My chest is heavy.

"Whoohoo!" The American cries out ecstatically before jabbering away in English. I ignore him until he tries speaking Italian. He botches my language in every way possible, but I learn that he is the Alfred Lovi spoke of in his final letter. He says that we're heading for the capital of Southern Italy, and that my brother is waiting for us there.

I can only pray that this war will end soon, and hope that Ludwig and Kiku can forgive me.

Maybe one day we can be friends again.

I'm... Too tired to think... Or to do anything else...

I close my eyes.

I'm only human after all...

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